After a day spent recording the sounds of frying eggs, playing ukulele, walking along my local railroad tracks, writing in a cafe, consorting with a very nice juggler, and attending the neighbors' supper club, I find myself back at work, a slightly less charmed and vaudevillian environment. I do have a desk, though, and in that desk I have a pantry. Let's take a look:
DESK PANTRY ITEMS:1. Fork and Spoon - The fork is named Otis. The spoon is a mystery.
2. Banana Guard - This brilliant device protects bananas from bruising while in transport. It's also a fun thing to carry around in public because strangers invariably mistake it for something else entirely.
3. Dried Mangos - This is about love.
4. Magazine - Good ol' Saveur. This issue features a come-hither photo-spread of brown rice.
5. Gummy Bears - The sub-prime mortgage collapse has contributed to the devaluation of the dollar, which I'm thinking will eventually cause a run on gummy bear commodities. My coworker and I have stockpiled against this possibility.
6. Oatmeal - For emergencies. I once read an article in which chefs were asked what they eat when they don't have much time. A surprising majority of them said instant oatmeal. I don't generally like instant shit, but I make an exception for oatmeal.
7. Lemon - This is not food, but rather a form a percussion - a shaker. The lemon shaker is particularly helpful when trying to convince coworkers that a rattlesnake has taken up residence in a file cabinet.