This post is about fitness. I suppose. Lidia Bastianich, the renowned-ish Italian-American chef, had this to say about her son the other day:
He fell into the pressures of decadence. It's a potent current, a beautiful, enriching current.
Indeed it is, Lidia. Her son, it seems, has taken up jogging to counter the corporeal effects of too much gluttony. After recent forays into cured pig's jowl, salmon, and other lipid-endowed foods, The Elephant and Butter can empathize. But running is not the answer. I agree with Wong Kar Wai on this one: running is best reserved for when you have a freshly broken heart (see: scene 6). The gym is not the answer, either. They are filled with untoward smells and aggressive lighting. So, I've taken up jumping jacks. I highly recommend the jumping of jacks. One can jump them anywhere. They employ many of the essential functions of the body. And, they involve almost no equipment. A worthy pair of shoes helps, though. Luckily, I found some in a thrift store the other day.
Goodbye, sweet lipids and bad humors.